posted on December 15, 2000 08:21:47 PM new
Date: 12/14/00 3:35 PM
From: Greebeez
BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT
>>
>> Bush to be smitten later today
>>
>> In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation,
>> under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last
>> night's Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George
>> Bush.
>>
>> "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this
>> morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not
>> going to lie back and let Bush get away with this #*!@."
>>
>> "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count
>> in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly
>> who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by
>> exactly 20,219 votes."
>>
>> Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
>> overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to
>> Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing
>> God's Word for possible grounds for appeal.
>>
>> "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign
>> strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S.
>> Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the
>> constitution of the state of Florida."
>>
>> "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises
>> ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."
>>
>> God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct,
>> explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no
>> grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot."
>>
>> "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get
>> real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name
>> them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt,
>> Ron..."
>>
>> Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W.
>> Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him
>> today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job,
>> God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his
>> wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the
>> former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and
>> afflicted him with deep boils.
>>
>> Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
posted on December 15, 2000 08:33:21 PM new
You're welcome. Always glad to be of service. My favorite is the part about the goats, and also the Cheney bit.
posted on December 15, 2000 09:11:34 PM new
roadsmith,
Please edit your post to delete the email addresses included in the headers. I'll allow one hour for you to see this post. If your post hasn't been edited by then, I'll have to delete it.
posted on December 16, 2000 11:39:25 AM new
No, it can't be true because the minister that officiated the church service on Thursday, said God chose Bush to be president. He even compared him to Moses.
Even Bush said during the campaign that God told him to run because he was chosen.
It's been a long time since Sunday School, but isn't there something in the Bible about Moses and a burning bush?
If so, then apparently the minister confused the sermon for Bush's service with the one scheduled for Sunday's service.
Probably an unorganized minister with a very messy desk. Easy to pick up the wrong notes.
