posted on January 4, 2001 11:56:12 AM new
Im trying to find the story online, so those interested can keep checking the status, but Im having a heck of a time finding it. Perhaps julesy or someone better at "search" could assist? Soon as I find it, I will post the link here, but Im hoping I can get some assistance from someone.
The birth father's name is Christopher Vietri. Better luck tracking the various articles using his name in conjunction with Baby Sam in the search box.
Another stinky case. Breaks my heart. And there is no "right" answer at this late stage in the game.
I have no idea if the information provided on the web site below is the total and absolute truth. It's pretty harsh, so be prepared.
http://www.a-team.org/adoption.html
[ edited by victoria on Jan 4, 2001 06:51 PM ]
posted on January 4, 2001 06:55:00 PM new
That's ugly indeed
I see the birth mother has decided to rejoin the case in an attempt to keep the child from the biological father. Must be a lot of hate there. Without reading between the lines, though, I see nothing that changes my previous opinion.
I posted before seeing your second link, victoria. It does seem that there is an obvious agenda with that organization but the sentiments expressed ring true for me.
[ edited by xardon on Jan 4, 2001 07:04 PM ]
posted on January 4, 2001 07:14:44 PM new
OMG. My feelings have changed drastically from any sympathies with the adoptive parents in this case. That poor man...to lose his son this way, to be judged on his being "penniless" and those fighting him KNOW it and will USE it for their own advantage in keeping the child and fighting in the courts, the courts themselves and the judge who ruled. This makes me ill. But thank you for the link. Now all of us in this thread know more about this case. I feel SO DAM BAD for the father and the child.
We were all working on feelings and only what little facts you had at the time. You can't be blamed for your feelings anymore than anyone else. We were working on gut instinct and I think even though there were disagreements on how it should happen that all of us were thinking of the child.
Now there is more and I feel sick too but I am like xardan. I haven't changed my mind and I still feel sorry for this beautiful child who is going to be hurt no matter what happens.
I know I haven't changed my mind about the mother. I am only surprised it took her this long to get involved.
edited to add:
Thank you Maui, kris, julsey and victoria for finding us more on this case.
posted on January 4, 2001 10:43:53 PM new
I guess I'm the only person here who wonders WHY the mom is so intent on keeping that child away from the father. Her actions have been consistent in keeping him away. The assumption seems to be that that makes her crazy or evil. But it could be just as possible that there are real reasons and that they should be listened to. (One reason could have something to do with the man being "married with another son" according to one article. That's an a statement that could mean a lot of things. Was he married after this whole episode started---or was he married when they were having their relationship? If the answer to the latter question is yes, doesn't that throw any light on why she would want to give up her child for adoption?) Again, I ask, what is the real reason and could she in fact be the *only* person thinking about the child's best interest? There were no details about this in the articles I read. And that article linked above, as someone has already pointed out, was extremely biased----it's clear that whoever wrote it has a major ax to grind with adoption, period. That is an editorial and concerned with persuasion, not a news article concerned with facts.
If I were the judge it's very likely I would do some "home cookin'" of my own and give NONE of these people custody of this child. They are all still thinking of themselves and lying to themselves that it is about this child. He needs parents who can think about HIM.
posted on January 5, 2001 08:15:44 AM new
I've read a plethora of news articles on the case. Father Christopher has been trying to get custody since his son was 11 weeks old. An infant.
The "adoptive parents" knew he was the biological parent, knew he never gave up custody, knew he had been lied to, knew he was capable of caring for his infant son (married and employed), knew he was willing to fight for custody, but so were they. They forced this entire situation to happen. They really did hope to outlast him, bond with the child and then use it as their legal arguement.
Mother Natasha had ample opportunity to state her reasons for lying to the father and the adoption agency. She hasn't. IMHO, she had an affair with an older man (I think he was 26-27) which resulted in an unplanned pregnancy. He appears to have been single at the time http://www.sptimes.com/News/111900/TampaBay/Court_rules_family_mu.shtml , but since he married shortly after their break-up, he may have been involving himself with his (now) wife before he moved out of the apt. he shared with Natasha; pure speculation on my part. Anyway, 19 year-old Natasha decided to punish her erstwhile lover by giving the child away and lying about it. To make it really effective, she had to lie to the adoption agency. Maybe she planned to tell Christopher at some later date, and really twist the knife, who knows?
My guess? Vindictiveness, pure and simple.
posted on January 5, 2001 04:01:43 PM new
Two points.
The article Victoria linked to mentioned allegations of mistreatment of the mother on the part of the father. He denies this, but it has been raised and was convincing enough for a judge to deny him access based on it.
Also, he has been married for four years and the article says something like "married since the month after he found out he had a child". The guy says he found out within a few WEEKS. So he broke up with the child's bio mom mid pregnancy, married the other woman within just a few months, hmm again I think there is more to the story than just all the lovey dovey stuff we are seeing here about a father's love.
How does ANYONE know if he's not just as vindictive as you are saying the bio mom is? It is just as possible that HE might be dragging all this out at least partly to get back at his ex for wronging him! His soundbite-worthy remarks about his love for this child (who he has never met!) were for me, totally eclipsed by the obliviousness of his remarks about how the child will adjust when he "gets" him. The impression I got was: Oh, no big deal....a bio father's love will cure everything. Still thinking only of himself.....Hope he has a good child psychologist lined up to help fix the mess he did not start but has aided and abetted.
posted on January 5, 2001 06:09:06 PM new
Facts that we know:
there are no clear facts, only speculation, re the mother, her motives, her whatever, except that she lied to the adoptive agency.
there are no clear facts, only speculation and possible self-serving accusations, re the father, his relationship with the mother, whatever, except that he has tried to reclaim his son from the beginning.
We do have clear facts re the adoptive parents, in that they found out almost immediately that this child was wanted by the father and they chose to possibly put this child through hell, so that they could satisfy their need to have a child.
as far as I can see they may be the most detrimental and unhealthy presence in this child's life. Just because people want to have a child does not automatically mean they will be good parents.
and what is most frightening in this and the Pa. case is that, even if you have no legal right to a child......find a "friendly" judge and you will be dealing from a position of power by not having to relinquish the child until all legal methods have been exhausted.
I think I am a reasonably sane, stable person. But do this to me and my child and my anger and rage would be unbearable.
