posted on December 22, 2000 06:31:51 PM new
I mean it, Marwin, you really have to get out more. Broaden your horizons. Meet different people. That sort of thing.
posted on December 22, 2000 06:37:16 PM new
In my job, you meet a lot of YOUNG PEOPLE {especially those under 30}.
After a while, you start to realize something you may have had no idea about.
An awful lot of them are nasty, bitter, unpleasant, rude, impatient (even though they have nothing to do).
They seem to have a problem with you, with themselves, and pretty much with everything.
They are unhappy campers.
They don't smile, they are barely polite, rarely courteous.
They tend to act like you are at their disposal, your time and efforts have no value.
They get upset easily. You better watch what you say and do.
posted on December 22, 2000 06:38:10 PM new
I have encountered groups of elderly people that could be characterized in a manner similar to those you've described, marwin. I've seen them in shabby boarding houses, government and charitable institutions, and in mental hospitals.
I don't know in what capacity or setting you encounter them. Wherever it is, look around. Try to imagine living there.
In the nicer places I've visited that cater to an elderly clientele; assisted living centers, well-run nursing homes, retirement communities and the like, the people seem to be regular. Pretty much the same mix of personalities you find in any group.
Do you really believe this stuff you post or do these notions just sort of spontaneously erupt from your subconscious?
posted on December 22, 2000 06:46:49 PM new
Marwin: You've hit a *new* hot button!
I taught customer relations (meaning patients and their families) at a large hospital. The problem with many older folks is that they don't hear well, and the natural tendency when you haven't heard something is to frown. I had to work with elderly front-desk volunteers who would frown not only when they didn't hear well but when someone inquired about a patient who happened to have a foreign-sounding name (this is white-bread Utah, after all!).
In addition, they don't see very well. In our training sessions, we took a pair of eyeglasses and smeared them with vaseline so people could try them on and see how the very elderly see.
AND, finally, patients are in pain or they wouldn't be in a hospital. And their families are in pain.
All this being said, the fact is that most older people are kind and friendly! In spite of their bodies' frailties; in spite of their having lost many loved ones along the way; in spite of often being in chronic pain.
Yes, I'd ask too: where are you encountering all these mean people? Merry Christmas, Marwin!
posted on December 22, 2000 06:48:59 PM new
Marwin, I think a certain "crankiness" just comes with age. I know that I am much more cranky than I used to be, and seem to be getting crankier as I get older. I've thought about it alot. And I think that as we age, all the bullsh*t we encounter in life doesn't matter so much anymore, and maybe we just don't want to waste so much time making nicey nice over trivialities. For the most part, the elderly people I know are pretty practical. Think of all they've lived through, and maybe somedays their bodies hurt. Mine does sometimes and I'm...um...forty something. Physical pain can make people cranky too. Of course there ARE nasty elderly people out there, but they were probably just as nasty in their youth too, so being elderly has nothing to do with it. The best thing is to try to be patient and kind, all the while remembering that someday you will be cranky too and hopefully someone will return the favor to you!
posted on December 22, 2000 06:51:38 PM new
Well, that's not exactly a breakthrough in critical observation. Idealized versions of everything are common in TV commercials.
So how many epiphanies do you have a day......on average?
posted on December 22, 2000 06:51:38 PM new
No, actually the topic you offered was a generic "The Elderly". Your initial post was how you saw said elderly.
So you ran across a crop of crotchety types. Heck, crotchety has nothing to do with age. It's a state of mind. There are crotchety folk of all ages.
As for whether or not "Marwin" is irrelevant, well, it saddens me to see you thinking so little of yourself.
posted on December 22, 2000 07:07:17 PM new
Darn it, S-Kitty, *I* was hoping to take up marwin's irrelevance!
marwin, some of the finest people I've ever known were "elderly" when I met them. My own parents are 80 and while they *can* become cranky at times (cast the first stone if you -- at any age -- have not done so) it is grossly unfair and even shallow, imo, to characterize the elderly as an unhappy lot. As has been pointed out above by others, many older people are ill... many are also abandoned/lonely... and many may have earned the right to have a "bad day" in your august presence...
A little tolerance and understanding would improve and enhance your experience of these people.
posted on December 22, 2000 07:12:40 PM newmarwin, you will probably be nasty, bitter, unpleasant, rude, barely polite, rarely courteous, realize your time and efforts have no value and get upset easily too when you realize that you are just about dead!
posted on December 22, 2000 07:18:37 PM new
I shudder to think what the current 20 - somethings are going to be like in 60 years.
The gray haired ladies at McDonald's here are the ones who get you your order and out the door. The teenagers are standing around with their mouths hanging open and can't even run a cash register with PICTURES! I have one favorite cashier in her 60's who smiles and has my order on a tray without me telling her since I always get a bacon egg and cheese biscuit meal with a big coffee. She even gets me a water because see saw me taking my pills in the morning. The young ones are so bad at getting the order right I started writing it on a pad and handing it to them. They still can't get it right when you write it out for them!
posted on December 22, 2000 07:22:08 PM new
Considering that in just two threads our friend has made sweeping negative generalizations about "Home Electricians, Lawyers, Plumbers, Painters, Carpenters, Priests, Residential Building Contractors, Car Mechanics, AC Repairmen, Dentists, Roofers, etc." AND "an awful lot" of the population over - what, 65? 75? How old is "elderly"? - it would appear that age is NOT a criterion for crankiness...
posted on December 22, 2000 07:54:22 PM new
"But the people I meet who are under 30 are pleasant, joke, smile, easy... "
So you do get it Marwin That's exactly the point I was trying to make about the elderly.
Most of the people I meet are civil, pleasant and nice ( no matter the age)...maybe it is how you approach them that determines thier response.
Quite ofton the very young discount the elderly and fail to see the value in them.
Why should they make the effort to be curteous to those who think they haven't had an original thought since they hit 40?
Try changing your attitude and you might see a whole new world open up to you that you didn't even realize was there.
posted on December 22, 2000 08:10:53 PM new
Marvin I live in a building that has mainly all elderly. They are not mean or mad they are just plain lonely and many times are embarrassed due to loss of bodily functions. Sometimes a little smile helps sometimes not.
Did you ever catch your parents reading the obituaries? Many relive old memories.Growing old is a dramatic change in one's life. For the most part I find that it is just breaking the barrier and offerring them a little smile and a helping hand. Remember we all have to get their someday,and I am well on my way. I try to preserve my sense of humor,but if my body starts aching I may lose that too. Have a little patience with them. I have a mother that is cranky 99% of the time and always complaining. I try to put myself in her shoes in another twenty or thirty years." Like other dramatic changes in life, facing one's
own mortality requires gradual desensitization."
[ edited by zeldas on Dec 22, 2000 08:35 PM ]
posted on December 22, 2000 08:38:42 PM new
(Hello, Marwin - you're spoiling for another horrid poem from me, aren't ya? You'll have to make do with somebody else's work, I'm too sniffly to compose.)
Warning
by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
D. (who's got my declining years all planned, during which plsmith and I will be the scourges of the unsuspecting rest home we invade...can hardly wait!)
posted on December 22, 2000 09:05:44 PM new
Greetings, Janetto, definitely! We'll form a cartel of impossible old horrors, shall we? This will require you to move here, of course.
Hello, spaz...I dunno, I have a soft spot for Marwin. Don't understand him in the least, but he's interesting. At any rate, I've posted now, so the thread shall surely die.
posted on December 22, 2000 09:06:57 PM new
Marwin you had to know you were as good as painting a bullseye on your forhead when you called a major segment of the population," nasty, bitter, unpleasant, rude, impatient ,
For the most part they are quite unpleasant."
I am not elderly but I have worked with them also,for the most part I saw sadness more than meaness.
It's not easy watching the world as you know it pass away bit by bit.
These are the people who created and fought for the country that you now are free to enjoy. I don't fault your observations, they may be choosing to treat you that way ,but your lack of compassion as seen in your posts may have something to do with it.
)
