posted on December 21, 2000 04:47:46 PM new
I need advice from a Libra. I do not want to be the resident lunatic parent at my daughters school - but I am just off the phone with the twit in the office and have regained my crown. I need to know how you people with velvet gloves handle these situations. Tomorrow is the school Christmas party where I had planned to give the dinner and a movie gift to her teacher as tangible proof that I am over the last fiasco. I was kind of proud of this and now today another session and I just know I have them talking again.
Here is the sad tale.
My daughter is 5 and in 1st grade. She is not 5 going on 6, as a matter of fact when the school year started and all this went down you was 3 weeks past 4 YO. A baby.
She is in a very small public school, maybe 80 kids grade 1-6. It is a school for gifted children, which I mention because this makes it elite and THE STAFF thinks that they are very special and pioneering. The other thing they think that they are INFALLIBLE.
Now don't get me wrong, I am HUGELY grateful that they exist or I would have a very big problem and I support them at every turn - mostly by drowning them in donations gleaned from 100 yard sales a week. I walk into this school and everything I gave them is everywhere.
Here is the tale.
Week 1 they lost my kid.
They left her on the PLAYGROUND alone.
It seems she was told not to RUN and specifically not to run on the sidewalk. and so the bell rang and she walked with her little 5 YO legs toward the door of her classroom which she watched close before she reached it.
Well she did not know what to do so she sat in the dirt. I imagine she sobbed but she did not tell me. I know she had to have been terrified. I do not know how long she was out there (I do know how dangerous it is) but this school is on the campus of a regular elementary school and so a teacher running to the other building found her and got her to her class.
When I heard about this when she got home I freaked pretty good but I DID NOT call. I assumed that the teacher must have also freaked and nothing would ever happen like this again.
That was not to be.
The next day she was lost in the bigger school where they take them for various things like ART. She was alone in the hall and again rescued by a passing adult. I do not know how this happened, but again, I cut the teacher some slack and told my daughter to try to pay attention.
I decide that this is first grade follies.
Long story short, they lose her again in the big school and AGAIN she gets left on the playground.
Now, I just can't function on this.
After a kid is left ONCE, how do you close the door of the class (they go straight into the classroom from the playground via an exterior door) without GLANCING around to make sure no one is straggling? I was really pissed off now, but by God, I still let them slide.
It is now the 6th day of school and my kid has been lost 4 times.
I pick her up, along with the other car pool kids and I catch the teacher looking at me, and I knew immediately that something has happened. I look directly at her (this is from 40 ft back) to see if she is going to motion me to her, and she turns her head away.
That was when she made her decision.
That night my daughter gets out of bed hysterical about 11 PM.
Turns out she was left in the classroom.
Her entire class was taken to the library at the big school and she was left behind.
FOR AN HOUR.
So she is sitting in her class and freaking terrified. She does not know what to do. She does not know where the office of the school and even if she did, she would not go there since she would think she was in trouble. No phone, so she can't call 911. She can't go home - she is not even in her neighborhood - she has no idea where she is.
I am surprised she did not piss her pants. I understand that when the class got back she was CHASTISED.
No one told me. No one called. Knowing my daughter was severely traumatized, the teacher decided to take her chances that my daughter would not tell what happened, or get it jumbled some how.
BAD BET.
This was when I reamed the teacher out for about 40 minutes straight. I hit her like a truck.
When I was done, I went up a notch to the principal and laid into her for another 40 minutes at least.
This got me some results.
It also got me extreme notoriety which of course is not so good for my daughter. Very simply, I am deadly. Coiled up serpent power released, and baby, it is impressive. I backed her up. I was going to make damn sure...
~~~~~~~
Okay - so time heals all wounds and everything have went really well since - 5 mos or so, but today they FU again.
They take my kid out of the lunch line and send her to the office. Please keep in mind that this is a 5 YO.
Her crime?
No lunch money.
Now the thing with the lunch money is you pay in advance. I pay for 30 lunches at a pop and sometimes she eats school lunch, sometimes I pack. The school tracks the credit and when your kid is low they stamp they hand "2 more lunches".
The next time they have the school lunch, if you have not paid they stamp their hand "last lunch"
Then if you do not pay, they eat their last lunch, plus one more and after that they are cut off.
Guess what?
No one stamped her hand. Not one time, never mind two. I had no idea....
She was sent to the office and she said that she ate a granola bar in there.
Well this pisses me off.
I am not stupid, I know what's done is done but I want to know why it happened, how it happened and that it will never happen again.
I get the twit in the office. She is dumb as a post. So is the principal. How do I know? Because I am not.
I tell who I am and why I am calling. I ask for an explanation. IOW, I identify myself and state my business.
She tells me that she is going to hang up if I do not stop yelling.
I tell her that this not yelling, and I am Italian and this is how I talk.
She asks me to stop talking so that she can explain and so I do.
She explains that the district policy is to stamp hands.
I tell her that I know this - so why didn't they?
She says that someone new is in the cafeteria and perhaps they changed the rules.
Huh?
I ask her if she thinks it might be a good idea to find out if they changed the *district wide* rules and if they did - does she think that it might be a good idea to notify parents.
She says "didn't she tell you that we gave her something to eat?"
Me: "that is not the point"
Her: "yes it is"
Me: NO IT IS NOT.
I do not add the part I am thinking which is ".. you stupidest &^*&() is 18 states"
I try for 10 more minutes to get her to tell me if the stamp thing was a mistake or if I should now keep an accounting - IOW "how do we avoid this in the future?" but this proved a difficult a query and she opted instead to behave as if I were a wild animal who was loose from their cage. It seems that they cannot solve a problem, because guess what - they never have a problem - what problem do I mean??????????
The question is this.
How do people with social skills handle things like this?
Really.
I need a clue.
I am basically looked upon as "that banshee". I don't want that.
posted on December 21, 2000 05:25:51 PM new
I ditto what was recommended above and I am a Libra (whatever that's good for). You might also consider a different school. It doesn't sound like children's safety or their emotional security are very high priority there.
posted on December 21, 2000 06:27:48 PM new
Thank you for the sound advice. I have not documented anything, but I will start. I will say that the safety issues have been addressed. My daughter is actually in a 1st/2nd grade class and so she has been assigned a 'buddy" to make sure she is always with the class. The little gal is an ultra responsible 7 YO. Of course the teacher also has an eye on her, and it was clear to me after a parent teacher conference that she is all the way up to speed. I had thought she might be a burn case or even a drunk but she was right on top it, and not only that, the principal sat in on the conference. I told my husband that it was because they thought I may hit her. My son is has a really light complexion and we joke that when I register him I will say I am the maid for the family so as he is not stricken with having a banshee mother. I's the maid of this chile.
lswanson - I do know another parent who's kid goes here who feels like you do, "find another school" and for the reasons you state. She has had other run ins that give evidence that your observation is valid but I do feel stuck. I really don't think their is any other place for her.
Schools are geared for the masses and if yours in the top or the bottom fringe they fall right thorough the cracks. I am not even upset about this - I think it is an unavoidable reality because teachers have to teach MOST the kids. Honestly if you are a 1st grade teacher, your job is to teach 30 kids to read. If you have one in the corner who can read 5th or 6th or 7th grade level - well that is their problem. That is why I feel so fortunate that this school exists. The problem is with the leadership.
The other parent who is upset happens to have a sister who is a principal in the same school district. She says that this principal got her job because of her skills as a diplomat. Parents of "gifted" children are seen to be high strung and I suspect that is correct. This gal is in there because she has the ability to smile and nod no matter what you are saying. I mean I could be spitting out lines from the Exorcist and she would me smiling and nodding which of course makes me wants to snap her like a twig and other violent things. See how poor my skills are?
Anyway - I want to work with them. My daughter loves the school. She LOVES it. I am wondering if there is a trick to use on people who never do anything wrong or make mistakes. This is important and even if it makes me gag I will do it, but I need the words. My kid is going to be here until 5th grade, most likely and I really really want to find a groove and then I will just do the MO - get what I want - and then go home and puke.
posted on December 21, 2000 06:40:03 PM new
This is probably going to ruin my rep as delicate, nice, easy going, avoiding confrontations...but you asked, and Im a libra, so here goes. I would kick some butt. Then I would remove my child and find another school. What if something horrible happens due to them "losing" your daughter? And I mean TERRIBLE. No way would I leave my child there. No way.
posted on December 21, 2000 07:28:03 PM new
maui - is this regarding the losing, because it does seem to be addressed at this point. She is on a very short leash.
I should also say that it is the Cafeteria at the larger school that made the call to send her packing to the office, who I have not been able to confront yet (left for the day by the time I found out). It is their responsibility to do the stamp thing. It was one of the troops of smiling twits in her own school on the phone today though.
I am glad no one thinks I am too deranged because that is exactly how I am treated. This is reassuring. Also on the upside, my daughter is pretty eccentric and she did not care one whit about the lunch thing today. She is excited about Jupiter's clouds, and various hinge and ball and socket joints in her body. It was my eyes that bulged, and even then it was only after talking to dumbo that I really became incensed.
So no one knows any manipulative techniques huh?
I can't do a bunch of flattery and then "say... I was just thinking... and implant thoughts into their heads ..
Or maybe "HEY! LOOK OVER THERE!!" and then quick inject them with "syrup of competence"?
posted on December 21, 2000 07:46:46 PM new
Very Modern,A written complaint to the Superintendent of schools for the city.He or she is hired by the city.This person is usually on tacks,And can be replaced,Beyond him is the Mayors office.They would not want this public.
Ssssssgeti on the ceiling always worked for me(years ago)attention getter.
[ edited by junquemama on Dec 21, 2000 07:51 PM ]
posted on December 21, 2000 07:49:14 PM new
VeryModern, I guess what my concern is is the blatant disregard to PROTECT your daughter while she is in their care. Leaving her OUTSIDE the school when all the other children are IN, and not even missing her, it boggles the mind. Shes just a baby still. Gifted, yes. But still a baby. Very easy to pick up and RUN to a waiting car. And the total disrespect of you, the parent. There is no way to manipulate. But perhaps threats would work. Nothing grabs attention better than that. No, not threats of kicking butt. That would be in the category of a promise, not a threat. The threat that IF they dont PAY ATTENTION to ALL THE STUDENTS, do a HEAD COUNT, in short, take responsibility for a child left in THEIR CARE, then if they cant or wont change their policies or get someone just a tad smarter than yon fencepost to do said responsibilites, you will take whatever action is necessary. Talk to the highest person you can talk to. If you still butt your head on a wall with them, call the press. Perhaps a nice juicey story in the local papers and publicity will wake them up? Like I said...I am fair. But this is a CHILD. YOUR child.And there are wackos everywhere. Its scarey, VeryModern. Very dangerous what has been going on with your daughter and the lack of CARE they have shown.
posted on December 21, 2000 07:51:28 PM new
There! Junquemama said the same thing. Publicity in the negative is NOT wanted. But you WILL do it if they DONT WAKE UP to the dangers to your child.
posted on December 21, 2000 08:15:32 PM new
Okay --- I have made these threats. This was 5 months ago and it did get their attention. This is one reason I started with the teacher because I wanted them to see that I was going up the chain of command. I did not mince words. I told the principal very succinctly that "no one was in charge", various other things, none of them nice. I also told her that I held her responsible for the teacher and that her performance was pathetic.
I told the teacher that "something is f--- wrong with you that you could leave a kid on the playground once, never mind twice". I asked several times how she could be so stupid and when she tried to talk, I interrupted her and I made sure to repeat everything I said at least 5 times. My voice was BOOMING. I also confronted her about making a decision not to tell me and take her chances, to save her ass on the back of a 5 YO . She has been teaching for no less than 18 years.
I left them without a doubt that I would devastate the entire program and told them to outline for me exactly how they were going to address the problem. I got a call back in 40 minutes, and I got exactly what I wanted. Nobody has blinked since.
posted on December 21, 2000 08:25:11 PM new. I will say that the safety issues have been addressed. My daughter is actually in a 1st/2nd grade class and so she has been assigned a 'buddy" to make sure she is always with the class. The little gal is an ultra responsible 7 YO. Of course the teacher also has an eye on her.....
You can ignore this cause I'm a Gemini, but IMO the day any school would try to convince me that they have addressed safety issues by assigning a 7 year old child to be responsible for another child is the day I would make damn sure my child doesn't spend another hour there.
posted on December 21, 2000 08:26:46 PM new
Hi VeryModern, You once told me that I'm a Pisces on steroids - so this is what I would do.
I would make another face to face appointment with the Principal. In a very calm - I only want to help voice - I would re-state the multiple situations that the school has left your young child in. Reiterate for them that this is a five year old child. I would ask her if she would agree that these are serious issues for a child to have been faced with. Ignore her defensive statements and get her to the bottom line point of agreeing that these are serious issues. Once you have her agreement, tell her that you feel that the school would greatly benefit from a parent support group and that you are willing to organize such for the school. If she balks, ask her again if she would agree that these are serious issues. Nail her to that point and don't let her smoke screen with excuses. If she continues to balk at your idea, keep reminding her that you only want to help. You might pull a rabbit out of the hat and ask her to sign a statement that says that you offered to address the problems by forming a parent support group and she declined. Then, tell her that if you have another problem of that magnitude, then you will do whatever is necessary to form the group yourself because it will be apparent that it is needed. The trick in all this is to keep your voice even, quiet, and to not show ANY emotions.
On second thought, do you think your hubby could do it for you?
posted on December 21, 2000 08:35:48 PM new
What Cariad said.
Probably your kid is much stronger in spirit than I was at that age, but being afraid of being forgotten again and again, and then shamed with a granola bar on top of it~well, that sure would have done a number on my self esteem.
Of course, you seem like a much more aware mom than I had~And I think it is good that your daughter is able to see you stick up for her.
Make sure she understands that it is not okay to be treated like this~no matter what you decide to do.
posted on December 21, 2000 08:41:05 PM new
Hi Junquemama! I cant stay away from this place, lol. Tis my second home, ya know?
Yeah, what cariad said! This isnt even my child, but it TICKS ME OFF what has been done to her. 4 times??? Gimme a break. That teacher needs to retire, be removed or wake up before something awful happens.
I dont think I would be calm if this happened to my child. Four times is 4 times too many. (Arent Libra's supposed to be calm?)
I agree with mauimoods and the others who have said they'd pull her out of there.
Let me give you some "background": I'm the mom of 2 boys (3 and 8). The 3 y.o. is still home with me full time, the 8 year old has been in school since he was four, one year of that was public school. The other time has been private school.
I'm also an "afternoon teacher" (aka childcare worker) at his school and a substitute when the need arises. His entire school, made up of children ranging from 2.5 years to 8 years old, consists of 24 kids divided into three classes.
In the afternoons I have, at most, 15 kids in my care, but usually it's 8-10. My GREATEST fear is that of "losing" one of the children so I do "head counts" constantly, even though the kids are in a locked playground area and have to go past me to get out. When we go inside the schoolhouse, I am constantly vigilant that they keep their feet on the wooden floor (the main room) and only one may be in the bathroom at any time, for the same reason; I can NOT take a chance on "losing" anyone!! It's a horrible thought, and if I ever had so much as a "scare", you can bet I'd change things drastically to see to it that it didn't happen again.
Even when my son was in public school, if a kid didn't have lunch paid for they gave them PBJ sandwiches until their account was paid up, and no one was ever called to the office for that sort of thing. I *did* have an instance where my son (at age 6) was "lost" briefly as well. I just don't see how that can happen but apparently it does.
I'm a Leo. I'd pull her out of there. Barring that, I'd go full speed ahead with letting them know what I expected from them, without concern about them seeing me as the "psycho-mom". It really should not make any difference in how the child is treated... if they treat her differently because of your actions then she REALLY needs to be somewhere else. Believe me, there are parents at our school that I'm not fond of, but it NEVER affects my view of or treatment of the children. There's no place for that sort of attitude when you work with kids!
At this point, if you can't find another school for her, I would venture a guess that *scaring* them into getting their you-know-what together might be just what is called for here!
Oh and lest anyone think I'm assuming everyone can afford private school, let me clarify; my work at the school pays for his tuition in full in the form of a barter. We wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise. I looked long and hard (a full year) for this school and had to dig deep. In doing so I discovered many private schools that offer scholarships, barter positions, and other options to allow children to attend who wouldn't be able to otherwise for financial reasons. It's hard to find but those schools are usually out there if you live in any decent sized city. Charter schools are another option; there's one in my city that is modeled after our own private school (the director is a former student from 30 years back!) and even though it's publically funded and FREE, it only has 15 kids! Our school has many children with different learning needs, from the learning disabled to the gifted. The small sized groups allow the teachers to accomodate each child and help them learn in the best way possible for *that* child. Just my $.02 on this whole issue.
posted on December 22, 2000 05:42:37 AM new
cariad - I agree with you and I screeched to high heaven about the 7 YO being responsible. I was assured that this was in tandem with her short leash and this is how it has worked out. The purpose of assigning the 7 YO was to give my daughter a sense of safety. The teacher is watching but she has a personal body guard. The 7 YO loves this by the way.
Besides this, both the principal and the teacher apologized to her, told her the losing was not her fault but their own and that she did not do anything wrong. They told her that they would make sure that it never happened again. They promised her. This is what I told them to do because this is what she needed. She needed to feel as if she were cared for and that her presence at this school was important. I had them explain to her that she was precious.
Next the teacher shored her up over the next weeks by picking her for "helper" and such things. This had a huge positive impact on her as she is the type of kid who starts hoping and wishing she could be in the position the second she learns that there is something like "teacher's helper" and via this multi-pronged approach she was able to steer back on track. The major reason why is that she *wanted* to steer back on track.
mimigigi - I also agree with you regarding the self esteem, and it is a huge concern because in this specific population, the kids tend to be very hard on themselves when they make a mistake. My daughter is not this way. For example - if you tell the typical "gifted" kid that they have made an error on a math problem or whatever - the result is for them to berate themselves "I am stupid, I cannot do anything right" in a very extreme fashion. When I do this with my daughter - "that one is wrong" she answers me "I don't think so" and I answer her back "fine." She is that kind of eccentric. Although it is rampant in the population, there is no pressure here and she feels no pressure from inside. Most the kids feel as if they must turn in perfect work at all times and continually better than yesterdays. I tell her to write "I don't know" to anything she can't answer and forget about it, which is what she does.
Regarding taking her out of school - again I really don't think this is feasible. Homeschool would be the only option and besides not feeling as if I could do it, and not wanting to do it, my daughter is highly social (Gemini) and I dunno - it just would not work. She wants to go to school - she wants to go to this school. She loves her teacher and she has a spectacular little Pisces gal pal who gives her something she just doesn't get at home. This is not offense to homeschool - it is just some people are not suited, and either are their children.
My daughter like myself very much wants to live in the big world. As I have said, I can see her speaking all her language and working at the UN. She will finish school outside this country - I would bet on this. Not everyone (actually not anyone) would travel to 9 countries with their infant. Get sexually harassed? Don't run home. Kick some butt and travel farther on the experience. My daughter embodies these type tendencies also, but as an added trait she is highly highly ambitious in a way that I can only observe.
My daughter got herself into K right when she turned 4 and she RODE THE BUS. There was no stopping this - she had been angling to get on that bus for a year and a 1/2.
Day one, it pulled up and she RAN onto it. She did not even look back. She had arrived, she was launched.
She is exactly where she wants to be, and from her perspective on the "lost" - school is so prized that if part of the deal was sitting in the dirt outside the class each day - she would do it. As it is she has to face a million fears to be there in the first place. Many of the kids in her class are turning 8 at this point and some of them a huge in comparison. This is the deal if she wants education and she wants education above ANY thing else in the world.
Now on the lunch thing - again this is not the schools call, it happened in the cafeteria at the larger school. At this point, I plan to call the cafeteria and then show up for the party early so I can have an opportunity to speak with the principal about the way I was treated ion the phone by dumbo. I do not expect much to come from this because the principal is also dumbo - and because I am going to keep it dull roar because of Christmas / a party / the timing, but I will slip it in there that I am willing and able to speak to someone up the hierarchy if this is not addressed.
Last - mybiddness - your idea is a great one, letting my husband take care of this and that is the plan for *next* time. It is very much the fact that we are treated in a different manner when we go out in life. He is far less threatening than I am although he feels exactly as I do. White guys aren't banshee's are they? Oh well. He is willing to call them up today on my behalf but I would rather finish what I started. I don't want to be psycho parent but I also want them to know I can carry the ball over the finish line. Otherwise I don't have a chance here.
Thanks everyone for their comments, they have been very helpful, in validating how I feel and I appreciate it.
posted on December 22, 2000 06:05:51 AM new
Oh, and mimigigi - I did tell my daughter immediately that she should not have been taken out of the line. This was in the car in front of the other kids. She did not see a problem but I very clearly told her that it was one. She did not do anything wrong.
Turns out that one of the other car pool kids (almost 9) had this happen also a week prior and apparently his parents did not see this as such a problem because he was kind of marveling at my fervor over it. He is pretty much tossed aside in his family in general though, so no big surprise there.
posted on December 22, 2000 07:02:06 AM new
Good grief. This is amazing and horrifying. I'm a Libra, but I would go totally ballistic...on paper. I am not much of a believer in the power of conversations with minor officials. In my experience, they'll say anything to get you off their backs and then do whatever's expedient when you leave...at least, the type you're dealing with.
I'd start a paper trail. First, I'd list every event to date (the ones that have endangered my child) in a letter. This letter would CC everyone with any kind of power over that school and it's employees, but most importantly it would CC my attorney. The unspoken threat of a lawsuit would terrorize these turkeys. Every new occurance would inspire another letter.
When you become angry enough to lose your temper, it diminishes your effectiveness, IMO. Gives them the ammo to simply call you a nutcase. On paper you avoid that, and show them how very serious you are...and you'll be doing it in cold blood. Plus, you have the advantage of being a great writer. Your husband could do any talking necessary...
I'd list only facts and why I fear possible harm to my child...the danger directly caused by actions of the school. Also, list every time you've spoken to them, only to have a repeat of the problem. These things are inexcusable...the people responsible need to see them in writing and to fear consequences.
posted on December 22, 2000 08:22:43 AM new
toke - thanks for the superior observations and advice. Next time (if there is one) there will be no talk, all write. I have always known I was going to be the Harper Valley PTA type.
I do have good news.
I am off the phone with the cafeteria.
The gal handled the call very well. I do not have time to explain details, but she will be apologizing to my daughter today and making sure that she understands that she is a terrific kid. She assures me that her hand will be stamped in the future. She apologized at least 25 times - she knows what has gone wrong in the bigger picture, took responsibility and she will be fixing it today and going forward.
Me?
I have a new paid of doc martin boots - chunky, street, lace to the knee and I am going to the party.
posted on December 22, 2000 09:19:34 AM new
Sounds like you have yourself a nice pair of butt-kicking boots for the party. Dont forget the rubber band for your hair....cant have it in your way when youre tussel'in around with fenceposts
posted on December 22, 2000 09:37:55 AM new
Oh maui I am up a creek today.
I look so ethnic, I hate when this happens. I look like that "Like Water for Chocolate" chick.
Ohhhhhh man.
I put on my FIGHT CRIME Batman watch that is a man's but it did not help a bit.
I think I am going to where this "Weird Fabric from India" coat and try to confuse them.
Time is running out.
posted on December 22, 2000 09:43:39 AM new
Ethnic? Maui's ears perk up at that word. When youre done with your outfit, send it to me...I LOVE to sell ethnic things!. Im sure you will catch their eye, and make a statement, lol. You go girl!
posted on December 22, 2000 11:01:58 AM new
oh my!
Where is a facade when you need one?
Whenever I go to this school the same parent always seeks me out.
She is a tall woman about 6'2",, blonde. She sells real estate. It is possible that she is a cross dressing man but more probably she is a woman in the middle of a sex change but really don't know. She wears red, white and blue a lot and it freaks me out.
Anyway, the point is that there is no where, (or way) for her to hide *either* so she comes and stands next to me and together we form what I refer to as the "exotic piece of *** section".
posted on December 22, 2000 07:29:52 PM newVM - I'm sorry I'm just seeing this. While my son isn't in a private school, he is in a small school, and gifted, and I am the local banshee! (I know, I know...hard to believe, right?)
Our situation is that we live in small town USA. One school - K - 12. Avg graduating class is 30 kids.
I insist on being an involved parent. From kindergarten, I have demanded to know when Nick has discipline problems. In Kindergarten, after two talks with the teacher getting no results, I wrote a letter to her, copied it to the principal and the superintendent. Had a meeting within 24 hours, and was notified from then on.
First grade - two weeks into the year, repeat. At that point, it was decided that if Nick had any problems with behaving, he would have to call home himself and tell me what happened. It worked like a charm, and he got it together in a hurry. He also received awards at the end of the year that had never been acheived by a first grader before.
Second grade - I'm hearing nothing, so I'm thinking...great! Get to the first P/T conference, and Nick has had 12 (TWELVE!) detentions. I flipped. Another letter to teacher, principal, superintendent. Another meeting. The kid was bored out of his mind in a class where the teacher was one of those "work at your own pace" types. Nick is bright, but he's lazy. So he was coasting, and getting in trouble. I made them test him. Near genius level in Math - reading level at fifth grade - and classic signs of ADHD. I flipped again. Took him to the dr - doctor says "yep - ADHD" and gives me drugs. Damn it.
The whole second grade was a waste. No awards (not ONE) - and he was now zoned out on Ritalin.
Third grade - I started the school year off with the letter on the first day of school. He has a demanding teacher, and he is doing much better.
Key word here is "PROACTIVE". And document. And write the letters...much better than calling, because your word processor allows you to edit it to sound nice and calm, even if you are steaming.
The other thing in my favor here is my propensity for writing letters to the editor of our local (weekly) paper. They know I'm not afraid to speak out publicly. And they don't want that. That's your ace in the hole.
Again - sorry to see this so late in the game. I can't imagine - I would have been at the school the very first time, demanding to see the teacher and principal together right now if it was me in your shoes. Gifted kids are a challenge, and as parents, we have to be challenging too, lest the educators get sloppy.
Don't give up! And let us know how things are going.
posted on December 22, 2000 07:43:42 PM new
I can see it now...."To Whom It May Concern..."......addressed to BF Egypt School Superintendant (private joke)
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