posted on January 2, 2006 08:59:51 AM new
No, I don't hate cats. Not exactly, I'm just not overly fond of them. Other people's cats are okay as long as their not my cats. I'm a dog person. I owned a cat once. Well, a kitten actually. After watching him shread my draperies, pee in every box (full or not) in the house, and scratch and claw at every conceivable surface in the livingroom, I gave him to my best friend - a cat lover. While I'll admit that they are cute and cuddly looking, cuddling with most cats is off limits. Anyway, I came across this short story, Why I Hate Cats, and thought it was funny. Even cat lovers can relate to it:
"Why I Hate Cats"
By John Melia
"Cats. They make me sneeze, wheeze, snort, cough, choke. My eyes run, my nose runs, and I leave rooms when a cat is present.
I don't like cats, I abhor cats. I detest cats.. They're extremely unfriendly, conceited and all around boorish individuals.
And those meows! How the good Lord in His wisdom could let a sound like that on this green earth mystifies me.
And the sound from their nocturnal amorous forays? Well, as they say, it's enough to raise the dead. Or the living for that matter. I distinctly recall waking in a cold sweat on many night, a condition undoubtedly induced by those eerie, preternatural wails that emit from feline throats.
But enough.
Let's get down to specifics; let's try for some objectivity here. Lets examine the domesticated cat in his habitat.
The first thing one notices upon entering a domicile where a cat is present is the smell that permeates the residence. Now I'm told that it isn't the cat that smells but rather the litter box where the poor cat must answer his natural call. In my experience one usually finds this commode in the kitchen, next to the cat's eating bowls, or in the bathroom, where human beings perform their ablutions.
Needless to say, any right thinking person finds this extremely distasteful.
The food that cats consume can be equally stomach turning. Raw hunks of liver, stinking plates of fish and sometimes perfectly mephitic comestibles of soya mash and assorted manmade fillers doused with water and left to stand hours on end.
I have figured out that one reason why cat food becomes unappetizing is that cats are slow eaters. They can stretch one plate of food the clock round. From dawn to dusk, darting in and out of the eating area for a quick munch. They sure do make that food last. All of which would be quite commendable if cats were known for thrift, but in my recollection, thrift is not an attribute of cats, even from the most devoted, anthropomorphising cat fancier.
And that's another thing. Cats always climb around on human eating surfaces. You know it and I know it. It's either the kitchen table or the dining room table or the cupboard. Even in the middle of a meal. I've seen a cat jump right onto the table, swishing its tail gaily and ever so nonchalantly depositing its hair on everyone's plate as it sashays by.
Now let's move into the living room where it seems the cat gains no greater pleasure than popping onto a lap just as the clam dip has come by and one is poised with lip aquiver for a taste. It's then that the cat pounces and said clam dip falls miserably short of its mark and dribbles down one's chin.
Push the cat away and it comes back for more. Get rough with it, and out come those claws to rake your arm, draw blood and raise welts on the skin that can take hours- even days - to disappear. God forbid if you take a swipe at that lowly cousin to the King of Beasts. That's when every cat lover in the room comes out of the woodwork , calls the ASPCA and turns you in for animal abuse. When it was all a case of self-defense in the the first place.
Finally, we have the cat in the bedroom. If it's not sitting your head, then it's purring incessantly in your ear. And if it's not doing either of those things, then it's trotting out the catnip for a quick game a 4 AM and even with its superior night vision, sometimes that old catnip gets a knock that lands somewhere in the vicinity of your nose. Swap! Your nose is in shreds, the catnip is now across the room and the wretched cat is gamboling after it.
That's what I think of cats.
If I had more time and space, I'd get on to cat lovers. The funny thing about that is that nearly all my friends own cats, know my view, and sill invite me to their homes."
Cheryl
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on January 2, 2006 09:20:03 AM new
I actually agree on the cat litter box. that's why I have a littermaid and I keep it out on the porch. It's a quick and simple clean and if I don't get around to it for a day or two, it's not a problem. I agree on the cat food too. Mine only get dry food. Canned food on special occasions only. As for counters - no - that's just not allowed.
The woman that has adopted my cat while I am gone said that he's the first cat she actually likes. He stays off the all eating services and is generally a "friendly mellow old man". She loves the Littermaid too.
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Never ask what sort if computer a guy drives. If he's a Mac user, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him? - Tom Clancy
posted on January 2, 2006 12:46:23 PM new
I really think that the main reason people dislike cats is they can't stand the animal's independence. Dogs, being pack animals who find themselves without a pack, need people, and that suits dog people just fine, as they need a subservient, eager to please pet just as much. The more eager to please a dog is, the "smarter" it is called by it's owners.Cats, on the other hand, even the most devoted, really don't need people, and will pick up and move on on a whim. The average pet dog turned loose in the wild will starve and die in no time, a cat on the other hand will readily find something to kill and eat.
We have 6 house cats and about twice that many feral barn cats, who earn their room and board quite nicely. The 7 dogs all earn their keep, either as livestock guardians, who have been instinctively bred, not "trained" to attack and kill any living thing they decide is a threat to their flock, or as herders, whose job it is to keep the stock together and moved when necessary. Interestingly, the guardian dogs are completely different in their behavior from the herders. They are born and live full time with the animals, spending most of their days asleep. They are more cat-like in their behavior, making their own decisions about what is perceived as a threat to their flock rather than waiting for some command, like the herd dogs do. Their flock, I might add, includes all of the people on this ranch that they know, as well as the poultry, horses, goats, cattle and even the herd dogs.
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Habla siempre que debas y calla siempre que puedas....
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Police aren't sure how else to explain it. But when an officer walked into an apartment Thursday night to answer a 911 call, an orange-and-tan striped cat was lying by a telephone on the living room floor. The cat's owner, Gary Rosheisen, was on the ground near his bed having fallen out of his wheelchair.
Rosheisen said his cat, Tommy, must have hit the right buttons to call 911.
"I know it sounds kind of weird," Officer Patrick Daugherty said, unsuccessfully searching for some other explanation.
Rosheisen said he couldn't get up because of pain from osteoporosis and ministrokes that disrupt his balance. He also wasn't wearing his medical-alert necklace and couldn't reach a cord above his pillow that alerts paramedics that he needs help.
Daugherty said police received a 911 call from Rosheisen's apartment, but there was no one on the phone. Police called back to make sure everything was OK, and when no one answered, they decided to check things out.
That's when Daugherty found Tommy next to the phone.
Rosheisen got the cat three years ago to help lower his blood pressure. He tried to train him to call 911, unsure if the training ever stuck.
The phone in the living room is always on the floor, and there are 12 small buttons — including a speed dial for 911 right above the button for the speaker phone.
"He's my hero," Rosheisen said.
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posted on January 2, 2006 06:01:09 PM new
Cheryl, how is your new dog/puppy doing now?
I like cats better than dogs, but some dogs are nice. Yesterday a neighbor's yorkshire terrior was yappen at me when I got out of my car. I kept asking him what he wanted.
Couldnt believe somebody would let their dog run around without a leash or being watched.
The guy finally came out and said the dog ran out when he went to get the mail. (yeah but didnt ya hear him barking all the time?)He was cute that dog.
posted on January 2, 2006 06:10:15 PM new
Buddy is great. He still gets into trouble, but he is only a year old. We have a lot of stray cats in the neighborhood and that suits me just fine. We don't have a problem with mice or any other rodent for that matter. However, the neighborhood can get quite noisy with the, ahem, cat mating call! Well, it's more like an eery baby cry. I also hear a lot of cat fights, which is not at all a pleasant sound.
Last summer we had a raccoon problem. The raccoon was eating and peeling the bark from our tree. The animal warden gave us some traps (humane kind) to put in the backyard in order to catch the raccoon. The only things we ended up catching were a half dozen of the neighborhood stray cats! Doesn't say too much for their intelligence. We never did get the raccoon. Oh, we did get a skunk. The animal warden was promptly called to take it away. I wasn't going anywhere near the cage for that one!
Cheryl
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
posted on January 2, 2006 10:51:58 PM new
I prefer cats over dogs. There are some small dogs I don't like. I have had some cats that I got rid of because I couldn't stand them.
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Two men sit behind bars,one sees mud the other sees stars.
