posted on October 1, 2003 10:24:38 AM new
Okay ladies....we're learning about twelvepole's kind of gal. Let's tell him what we're looking for [or have found] in a man. Traits and qualities we admire in men. How we'd like to see a relationship between an man and a woman unfold.
posted on October 1, 2003 12:45:28 PM new
For me, a sense of humour means everything. Next would be intelligence. Women get bored easier then men, so if he didn't know a bit about everything - no dice. A guy the opposite of Twelve, would be wonderful!
posted on October 1, 2003 01:12:20 PM new
I agree, intelligence is important. I always use to tell my husband he was the brains of our union. I'm in BIG trouble now.
As far as womens lib goes, I didn't agreed with a lot of what their position in the 60s was. Sounded to me like women who hated men. I did think all girls should be encouraged to get an education and be able to take care of themselves, and I do think a lot of good came out of those changes.
In looking for a relationship it would be important to me that he valued me as a person. Appreciate what I have to offer to our union. That he respected my opinions and was willing to compromise on areas where we disagreed, not think his way of doing things was the only way to do them. Being flexible.
It would also be important that he was faithful to our relationship. And honest if and when he wanted to end it.
posted on October 1, 2003 01:13:03 PM new
One that goes home
But seriously - someone that is smart and funny with an established life of their own and accepting that I have one as well and is willing to have one together without asking either to give up theirs individually. Someone that is not held to traditional boundaries and does not need material things to feel secure or grounded. I like traveling and exploring and pushing the boundaries of my comfort zones so the people in my life either have to be comfortable enough to go with me, or to let me do it without them without being threatened.
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on October 1, 2003 01:26:37 PM new
fenix - Goes home to his own house? A while back I saw a program where an elderly couple each had their own house, right next door to one another. They said they loved each other but just couldn't live together.
Some women have trouble getting their husbands to come home. Or bring their paychecks home without spending almost all of it at the local bar.
or to let me do it without them without being threatened.
Yes, to be with someone who encourages us to be who we are and accepts us as the individuals we are or want to explore our own dreams.
posted on October 1, 2003 01:43:46 PM new
Trust me Linda, you have nothing to worry about in the brains department!
In a way, I think women's lib emasculated men, leaving them unsure as to what role they were suppose to play. Sad for men, sad for women who wanted to stay home and raise their children properly, and sad for the children, imo.
You're right... of course honesty should be #1, Linda.
posted on October 1, 2003 02:01:40 PM new
Intelligent, good sense of humor - someone like this maybe....
"Be kind. Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Harry Thompson
"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it." - A Few Good Men
posted on October 1, 2003 02:32:33 PM new
KD - leaving them unsure as to what role they were suppose to play. So true. And I think it also left women just as unsure.
My girlfriends and I have talked this over so many times...the issue of the major changes that took place between our mothers generation and our generation. We felt our mothers had it easy, they knew their role. But things were changing during the time we were getting married [1950s - 60s].
I think we've come to a better place because now women have a choice for how they wish to live their lives. If they're smart enough to pick a guy that shares the value of a [either] parent staying home to raise the children, that is good because the woman isn't in a position of being forced to do so. If they long to have an exciting career, they now can do so without society thinking somethings wrong with them. If they choose not to have a family at all, because they want to follow their dreams, they are not as frowned upon as they use to be.
posted on October 1, 2003 03:37:06 PM new
::fenix - Goes home to his own house? A while back I saw a program where an elderly couple each had their own house, right next door to one another. They said they loved each other but just couldn't live together.::
That sounds like a perfect set up to me - there when you need them, not underfoot when you don't. Perfect for both sides.
:: Some women have trouble getting their husbands to come home. Or bring their paychecks home without spending almost all of it at the local bar.::
Another good reason he should have his own place - I don't really care where they spend their money but I have no patience with a drunk. Drinking is fine, drunks just annoy the hell out of me.
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on October 1, 2003 04:04:50 PM new
Linda, nice topic
while I like mine with all you have said. Also one that is not a big bs'er? can't find the right word here. Like Mike LOL! He has done so much in his life, pilot (still is) racing and more, he doesn't 'brag' at all. He's got tropheys, medals and all this stuff he keeps put away. When we meet new people, like our neighbors, find out most of them retired Air Force, he doesn't go on about his own thing, but listens... thats it... he really listens to people, he listens to everyone. And is very genuine about it.
And one thing he points out to me, about the young men nowadays, which we think attributes to the 'womens lib' thing way back when... the guys that one of my daughter dates, they have good jobs, but a lot (not all) don't know the first thing about a car, besides driving it, and putting gas in it... when I was in H.S. and college, all the guys worked on their cars. They don't know their 'place' on a date. They don't come and pick up the girl, the gal is supposed to go meet them whereever, they go 'dutch' or on occasion, my daugter pays for dinner..... but that is MY kid, she WANTS to pay and insists on it.
I think a man should pick up his date at her home. And that if he asked her to dinner, should pay for it. Young men, I think are confused on this these days.
If that made any sense
Wanna Take a Ride? Art Bell is Back! Weekends on C2C-www.coasttocoastam.com
posted on October 1, 2003 04:25:34 PM new
NTS - If that made any sense. It sure did. Your Mike sounds a lot like my husband. He was that way too. People always said he was a good listener and never bragged about his accomplishments or material things he owned through his hard work. People were accepted by the type of people they were, how they treated others, not what they owned or the position in life they had obtained.
On the good listener....I always said he had to be, he lived with me. yackety, yack Some of our friends even teased me, asking if I ever let him speak. LOL
On the girls going dutch...I think a lot choose to go this route since some guys held the opinion that if they bought a dinner, they were owed something in return. Takes that problem off the table.
We tried to teach our sons it was a courtesy to go the the door for the girl...and to take her back to her door when the date was over. A sign of concern for her safety.
posted on October 1, 2003 04:42:38 PM new
Linda, yep they do sound alike.
And yes! LOL, I'm the one talking all the time (no surprise )
He calls everyday too, never to 'check up on me' or anything, but just to say hi and how I am doing. Yeah he's a keeper
You know, he's got a real sense of design, for doing all that 'masculine' stuff, he designed the master bedroom in the new house, he showed me what would look good, what I thought, and yeah, I thought he did a good job, and he doesn't mind shopping at all! lol!
Wanna Take a Ride? Art Bell is Back! Weekends on C2C-www.coasttocoastam.com
posted on October 1, 2003 05:00:00 PM new
NTS - Oh don't I wish! He is Fred Couples, a pro golfer. What is so great about him is that he is as nice as he looks - a great guy! I met him at the Masters a few years back - we were at the same restaurant. We started talking while waiting to be seated, and ended up sitting together! Manners, intelligence, looks - yep, he's got it all! And not a bad golfer, either
"Be kind. Remember everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Harry Thompson
"I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it." - A Few Good Men
posted on October 3, 2003 06:29:10 PM new
i need a guy who would tell me what to do like when to go to the john and when to take a nap.i am tired of making decisions.
it would be nice if were just a fern plant in the corner of the room for a while.
