posted on February 14, 2005 02:00:52 PM new
...that "old" does not always mean valuable? I'm in hell. Trying to help pack up the parental home. I don't think we are actually going to get rid of anything. All junk must be saved because "it's old". true, it is old... but it's old crap, or it's nice old stuff that has never been used. It's driving me insane.
One person will decide to get rid of something and the other other comes along and rescues it. So far among the rescues are an empty tool box with no latches and a cracked cooler with no hinges (there are three others here the same size that are fine). I think right now the only thing that has made it to the future yardsale box is a zip lock bag full of shotgun shells, a rubix cube and a clip on fan that plugs into a cigarrette lighter.
BTW - Can anyone tell me what someone could possibly want to do with 20 year old tubes of exterior caulk, what use half a gallon of deck stain will be in a brand new home with no deck or why you need 5 trolling motors for one boat?
To keep this Ebay related - there is a 3 foot long nickle silver tray here that has never been removed from it's case. I want to sell it on ebay and use the proceeds to pick up replacement pieces for the Noritake set which keep getting more expensive year by year, but noooo... it's being saved... for me?!?! I don't want it. What the hell do you with a 3 foot tray!?!?! I'd much rather have the Noritake service completed - That I could use. And do we really need 23 candlewick cups to but no Dinner plates?
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If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on February 14, 2005 02:06:48 PM new
Fenix, you might want to check that rubics cube. I've seen the originals go for big $$ on feebay.
Definetly trash the caulk and paint. I tried to use some calk that I had stored for 5 years. It was a total waste of time and I ended up having to remove it it and start all over again.
posted on February 14, 2005 02:11:29 PM new
do all this "sorting" when you're really really tired. you'd be amazed at how much cr@p you can get rid of at that point!
I know, I've been through the same thing myself. My grandmother's estate and getting married when he had a full house and I had a full house.
When you're really tired you can trash that stuff and not feel guilty. I kept trying to hang onto it and preserve the memories and then I got tired of the weight dragging me down.
posted on February 14, 2005 02:56:49 PM new
I see this problem all the time on the Clean Sweep TLC show. The staff there are very effective in showing people that (1) an old collectible that isn't on display somewhere, but in a box in the garage, isn't being honored--either display it or sell it or give it away. And (2) keeping stuff you haven't used in a couple of years is hoarding, not "saving."
___________________________________
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
posted on February 14, 2005 03:38:28 PM new
Think of me as the ineffectual Clean Sweep team member. I want to get rid of everything (because I know that eventually I am going to inheritable the plethora o boxes o crap). It's the home owners that won't part with anything.
On a positive note - I am taking care of the house and dog while they are out of town next week so I can trash at will but I just don't get it. This is a couple that spent 10K over the past 10-15 years on a storage unit which they both acknowledge was a complete waste of money and they still will not get rid of stuff.
We are talking a two car gargage with no car in it and no room to move. He is a handyman with no time to be handy and conviction that EVERYTHING has at least 7 uses. They replaced the old screen two years ago... there are 25 screenless screen frames in the garage... aluminum heat registers strung up like trout after a good day at the river, trolling motors hanging from the rafters, dismantled outboards in disentegrating boxes on the floor, enough tarps to tent the house, Need a box of thresholds? Got em? How about some beetle kill pine scraps (left over from when the house was built 27 years ago). Oh yeah - then there is the basement... the basement of two people who went thru a pottery kick a few years ago. Anyone need 62 handthrown unmatched bowls? Oh wait - they are not for sale... "we'll need them in the new house". Then there are the Kitchen gadgets...stored in the guest bedroom... 2 pasta makers, 2 bread makers, 2 waffle irons, 5 bundt pans (owned someone who has not made a cake in two decades) 4 coffee makers (they are perfectly good except... (fill in various reason it does not work here) 2 expresso machines...
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on February 14, 2005 03:45:05 PM new
Fenix, back away. Refuse to help. Once they realize they have to deal with their stuff all by themselves, they will be willing to part with some of it.
If you volunteer to box and move, well, you are aiding and abeiting.
I told my Dad to get real. If he hasn't used what the heck makes him think I will? but then, he does trust my judgement.
Hoarding mentallity is an illness. If you do a clean sweep, you can actually tramatize someone. They need to do it for themselves. A move is a good time for everyone to deal with their own issues.
posted on February 14, 2005 03:50:26 PM new
Well fenix I will send you my daughter to help you. She has a way with words that would convience them to throw the house away. I know what you are going through and when we moved the last time things just left the house. Some I would have liked to keep but just dust catchers. She doesn't want anything as you know all old stuff is junque to her so if she didn't want it we got rid of it. That's the bottom line if YOU don't want it throw it away. Your parents will feel bad for a while but will get over it.
posted on February 14, 2005 04:31:08 PM new
Here's what you do:
Sit them down in front of ebay and show them how to research prices. Show them how to find auctions and how to find closed ones.
Show them how to make an account, because closed auctions, fie upon you ebay, are only accessible via sign in.
Give them a pile of tchotckis and if they don't see the light, they will shortly. Make sure they jot down at least 3-4 prices and if that one item seems a good one, keep it aside, write down the auction number so we can then compare condition, version and any other differences (oh, that has a hallmark! oh, this is base metal!)
This helped me with an estate.
It seems like eeeevery single item, every single dust covered, beater from the 60's item, looked like the "motherload"
Oh, boy, I was trying to explain that access has changed what rare may mean any more.
It worked for me. Otherwise I'd be listing crock pots from 1983 and other things that I just couldn't bear to do.
J
+++++
It's easier to watch a camel get stuffed
through the eye of a needle, than watch
a man use heaven to get all his friends rich
posted on February 14, 2005 04:45:30 PM new
LT - I can't back away. This is a promise I made. Since I am going to leave the country before their new house is finished and won't be back for awhile I promised to help get the house "Sale Packed". I've been working on this for a few months now, traveling back and forth between my place (where I am getting rid of EVERYTHING) and their place.
My place is easy. Paperwork gets scanned, everything else gets trashed or ebayed. Anything that does not sell goes to the swap meet with me at the end of the month (No garage sales when you live in the middle of downtown). All I am taking when I move is clothes, camera, computer and car.
Their place has been easy up til the last trip since it was sorting thru old boxes from the storage units but now we are tackling the house itself. I don't have to deal with furniture or how you get a 4 stone kiln up a flight of stairs. I just have to help get the house ready to be sold (aka - bare minimum/very little personalization/etc) and simplify the final pack once the new house is ready.
I think that once they break ground on the house it'll be a lot easier. Then it becomes less of a concept, more of a reality. I'm thinking about having a moving company come out and do an estimate on moving everything while they are gone. They don't believe me when I tell them it's going to take two trucks to get them out of town. I am thinking that maybe seeing what it's going to cost to keep everything will help tip the scales to the "get rid of It" direction.
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on February 14, 2005 05:25:31 PM new
I went through something similar. Since your parents are still around, it makes it easier. Sounds like they need some help letting go and deciding what they want to keep and what they want to save for someone or give to someone. An idea or two: Ask them what they want to keep for them and then ask what they would like to give to (fill in the blank) or to any other family member. Get on your cell phone and ask that family member or better yet, have them come over. It's hard to get rid of things because it reminds you of something in the past or someone might need it. If the old calk or paint is still wanted, ask them why. Is it for this house? Is it because someone might need it sometime? Sounds like they need help deciding what they really want to keep and you sound like you might be tired and just want to get it over with. OHHH I have been there.
Don't do this when you're tired. It makes it allot harder. I know, I had to do it. I hope this helps.
posted on February 14, 2005 08:31:31 PM new
I've already told y'all what we are facing. Rather than try to figure out what is antique, a vintage collectible, or yard sale fodder, we are having an appraiser come in and look at it all. I am so excited. At least after he leaves and we bring in an 'antique' dealer, we will know what is fair and what is not. And then there will be more than just a few yard sales too. Louise
posted on February 14, 2005 08:40:56 PM new
Louise - One thing that I learned with my stuff is... swap meets are a god send. Rent a slot - get in early, unload and you are done by noon. Anything you didn't sell that you don't want to pack up - put it in a couple boxes and offer it to the pros that are inevitably within a few spots of you that are getting rid off the junk that they got in recent storage space auctions.
Glass - I made a promise. That simple. Once I leave the country I have no plans to return anytime soon so I would rather our parting message not be... "It's your crap, you deal with it."
~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~ • ~~~
If it's really "common" sense, why do so few people actually have it?
posted on February 14, 2005 08:48:55 PM new
Here is our current approach and it is working so far!!!Grandma is in a home right now so it is easier.
Remove what son and grand kids think is family heirlooms or they must have.It has become the great family give away.
Auction things go in one room.No one wants it and its is not fit for ebay either.
Room 2.Family must keep, photos, fishing gear, and slide etc. are in another.
The 3rd room is potential ebay or the antique mall booth.Garage sale or what ever someone want to spend the effort doing.
The motive to prevent some one from taking all the expensive stuff has been Grandma needs the money in her account for NH care so if you really want the item and it is worth over $100 you have to buy it. Believe it or not it has really been a civilized affair.
And the jewelry heirlooms promised for by Grandma are being handed out when everything is cleaned up and done.
P.S.my best friend told me it takes 6-year to get done and so far she is right.
Good Luck and God Bless you because you'll need it. I'm going to print this and pull it back out on a bad night after some of this.
posted on February 14, 2005 09:09:28 PM new
Fenix...Your idea of getting an estimate from a moving company is the correct approach. I was in the moving business for 40 years, and I've been involved in many of these situations. Level with the moving representative up front and tell him you will be calling for a followup estimate in a couple of weeks. You can talk till you're blue in the face, and no one will listen. An estimate from a mover, though, will get their attention.
A $75.00 solid state device will always blow first to protect a 25 cent fuse ~ Murphy's Law
posted on February 15, 2005 03:37:56 AM new
Fenix, I do understand. I'm looking at having to do it for my Dad soon.
He owns 2 farms. It will involve one house, 2 huge barns, and 3 big garages full of stuff. Most of it too valuable to throw away.
I started talking estate sale to him over a year ago and he is really starting to look forward to having the sale. We are probably going to have an auction for the farm equip and tools. Too much stuff for even a professional estate sale crew to do in a weekend.
I hate to see some if it gone, but I'm still combining 3 houses since I married 3.5 years ago. I can't add his to the todo list for at least another year.
I want to get my own stuff down to the point that I can move in a pickup truck.
But GG is right, you really do get tired of dealing with all the stuff. Eventually you even get to where you throw away stuff that you thought was too valuable to yard sale, lol.
Isn't it funny how we spend the first half of our lives trying to aquire everything and the last half trying to get rid of it??
posted on February 15, 2005 12:13:35 PM newI know what you mean. I closed out my Mom’s house a couple of years ago, and now I have a house full of boxes of “stuff” most of what I personally don’t want, but can’t really bring myself to throw away; like a complete set of “Child Craft” hard back books from the 1940’s. A set of encyclopedias from the 1930’s; never worn shoes, hats, jewelry galore and more.
We only handle new items, and all I can see in these tons of boxes is endless time photographing and describing items, which I have no idea of their value, if any. Oh, I know I can research them on eBay, but we don’t have time to keep up with out web sites and stuff now, so they still sit at one end of my house, all piled up, awaiting going through, or someone just coming in and junking all of them without going through them, which I know isn’t wise, as Mom’s Alzheimer’s had her putting things like solid gold chains in-between magazine pages to keep them straight, and such!
It is a mess from hell. The only thing I have taken out and sold on eBay was a Scaparelli designer hat from the 1950’s.
~"It does not matter what I think, it does not matter what you think. The only thing which matters is: What is the TRUTH!"~
